I'm Breaking Free

The Final Stretch

2010-02-04T09:18:00.006-05:00

So we're in the final stretch as the baby is due to arrive in 8 short weeks. Here's another look back to how he has grown...

19 Weeks: This week is all about brain development. I started taking a fish oil supplement along with my pre-natal vitamin during this time. It's so interesting to know that my baby is developing key sensory organs such as taste, touch, sight, and smell just like all of us. He currently weighs 8.5 oz and is 6 inches long. Still, very tiny.

20 Weeks = Halfway = 5 Months: We made it. We're half way there. We now start measuring head to toe instead of head to rump. Although he's only the size of a banana, weighing in at 10.5 oz, he's swallowing more frequently and building a stronger digestive system. This is when the doctor told me to expect to gain a pound a week. How exciting!

21 Weeks: Those early flutters I used to feel have turned into full blown karate kicks. We soon got to know each other's sleep schedules with the frequent activity. I remember feeling really good during this point in the 2nd trimester. I Almost forgot I was pregnant, until he kicked me. During this time, he weight about 3/4 of a pound and 10.5 in long.

22 Weeks: He's finally 1lb and looking more and more like a normal newborn as his eyes, eyebrows and lips are rapidly developing. He's also developing gums for his future teeth. Something that we wouldn't think to imagine could form in the womb.

23 Weeks: Studies have shown that 30 minutes a day of listening to classical music will enhance a baby's cognitive development. This is the time to start this phenomenon. During this week he is finally able to hear and feel me move, sway or dance. He feels my emotions and knows my voice. I believe it's so important to talk to him and let him know who I am. He's beginning to become a big boy weighing in at over a pound and measuring 11 inches long.

24 Weeks = 6 Months: Even though he's only measuring the size of an ear of the cob, he's beginning to fill out proportionally as brain development is still in the works as well as taste buds, and the branches of his lungs form his respiratory system.

25 Weeks: The wrinkled skin he used to have is becoming smoother and looking more like a newborn's skin. He started to hiccup at this point which became a tinkling sensation to me. One thing I did start to notice during this stage in the pregnancy was how thick and luscious my hair became because of new hormones. One of the highlights in pregnancy! Our baby boy is continuing to grow as he weighs 1.5lbs and measure 13.5 in long.

26 Weeks: At this week, nerve development is forming as well as enhanced hearing. Two important factors for a newborn. My favorite line is, "baby has ears," if someone was using profanity or vulgar language. I feel so protective of him and not want to corrupt him at such a young age. Biblically, we as parents are key components and held responsible for our baby's upbringing. During this week he'll grow to about 14 inches long.

27 Weeks = 7 months: This is the last week in the 2nd trimester, which has treated me very well. We started our Childbirth Education Classes that we'll continue to go to for the next six weeks. I felt as though I know my baby's schedule by now. When he sleeps, when he wakes, and his most active time of the day. Traveling was harsh as I felt as though I grew very large overnight. Being able to pre-board while flying to Florida was a treat. During this week brian development is almost completed and if needed to preform an emergency c-section, his lungs would be able to work on their own- with a lot of medical help. Fortunately this isn't the case. He's weighing in at just 2 lbs and measuring about 14.5 inches long.

28 Weeks: This is the first week of the last trimester. I was tested to the gestational diabetes test, which I passed. It's a great feeling to know that we're in the final stretch of the pregnancy. Preparations are now starting to begin as our monthly doctor visits have turned into bi-weekly visits and I'm expected to gain another 11 lbs. This week is all about eyes. Blinking, and knowing the difference between lightness and darkness through the womb. Billions of neurons are also developing in the brain for the real world activity. He's growing steadily weighing in at 2.25lbs and 14.8 inches long.

29 Weeks: I bravely ventured off to Florida during this week for my baby shower. I could definitely tell the difference from when we flew just 3 weeks prior for Christmas to how much I've grown. Unfortunately, no more long trips for me until he's born. During this time he's measuring the size of a butternut squash at 15 inches long and 2.5 lbs. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and an increase of vitamin C and calcium is recommended for me to ensure strong bones when he's born. He became very active at this point as we continued to speak to him.

30 Weeks: The nursery is looking more like a nursery these days as we rearrange our storage space to make room for the crib and dresser. We also took a visit through the labor and delivery room of the hospital. This eased my anxiety a few notches. My co-workers also gave me a surprise baby shower so we have even more essential necessities such as wipes, clothes and blankets. Braxton Hicks contractions have occurred, which are very uncomfortable. During this week it's interesting to find out why babies close their eyes so frequently when they're newborns. Their vision is a merely a 20/400. Weighing in at a hefty 3lbs and measuring 15.7 inches long, he's growing at a very healthy rate.

31 Weeks = 8 months: This is the time preparations are happening at work as well as home. Meetings with HR about my leave and training a new person for my job has made me realize that everything is becoming all too surreal. Starting to pack a little at a time has made Jim realize the time is approaching us very shortly. Since it's winter time, my main goal isn't to slip or fall on black ice, and I have accomplished this quite well. It has also become increasing difficult to put on snow boots and move as fast as I used to. I try to walk a mile a day because walking reduces labor pains and exercise doesn't hurt anyone. Ironically, he's going to be heading into a huge growth spurt in the next few weeks. He can also turn his head, open and close his hands and eyes on his own and does an excellent job resting on my blatter. He's developing more fat as well. Weighing in at 3.3 lbs and measuring 16 inches long, I don't know how much bigger I can get without having difficulty breathing.

Pop Goes the Belly

2009-11-10T10:03:00.010-05:00

Being pregnant has brought so many realizations to me that I would'nt have thought about if I did not have another human being to take care of. The planning process is one of the most scrutinizing parts of the entire thing. Money, maternity leave, and how to tell the boss can be very overwhelming.

I wanted to create this entry a while ago, however, due to the overwhelming exhuastion that comes with pregnancy, I am just getting to it now. Better late than never right? Here's a little layout of what I have discovered over the past 18 weeks.

Week 1 & 2: You're not actually pregnant yet. You're body is in the prep period, therefore this is around the time you are able to successfully concieve. Ergo, when people say pregnancy is nine months long, they're wrong.

Week 4: I skipped to week four because this was when we had a positive test result. Heartburn city starts to form as well. Unfortunately, at this early in the stage, you can not take anything to heal the pain. Our baby is just a group of beautiful cells trying to make a place in the womb.

Week 5-7: If I said I was exhausted, I think that would be a complete understatement. There are no words to describe how incrediably whiped out you are at any given time of the day. I was lucky if I made it to bed at 6.30pm. Around this time we were able to hear our babies heart beat. The first beats were at a healthy 176bpm. Doctors say anything over 100 is considered healthy. The old waves tale says if it's over 140bpm then it's a girl.

Week 8: My morning, noon and night sickness was established. I say it like that because it was constant, unpredictable and absolutely miserable. I couldn't go into a grocery and not vomit from the invisible smells non-pregnant people smell. My sense of smell was the typical nose of a blood hound on a mission. During this time my baby formed webbed fingers and toes, and his/her eyelids practically covered their eyes. This is also the time we joked about our baby having a tail, that later forms the tail bone, which is very cool to see on an ultrasound.

Week 9: I started to show early. We attended a wedding at this week, and I was able to wear my first maternity dress. People think that when you are pregnant, you can eat whatever you want. You can't. You're only suppose to have 300 extra calories (depending on your normal weight) and to stay away from certain foods as well. So when attending events, be aware of what type of food will be prepared, if you can keep food down at all. During this time, the baby is the size of a grape and is forming tiny teeth, as well as different organs, muscles and nerves.

Weeks 10: This is the time I told my boss, who was over the hill estatic about the news. Since they were planning construction in our building, I wanted them to be aware of my condition. Normally, this doesn't happen until the second trimester. I remember still being tired and nauseas. Our baby actually looked like a baby in the ultrasound pictures, as it only weighed the amount of a quarter. Although I could't feel any movement during this time, the baby was very active.

Week 11: I remembered eating more foods during this time. Ice cream was not one of them. Anything "creamy" for that matter just didn't do well. It's fascinating how strong your food aversions are during pregnancy. At 11 weeks, our baby was busy doing water ballet as it formed tooth buds and bone structure.

Week 12: They say to always consult with your OB before traveling on a plane when your pregnant especially during the 1st trimester. I went to Florida during this week and did fine. During my time there, my baby developed reflexes as it's toes began to curl, and learned how to open and close its hands.

Week 13: 80% of pregnancy don't have sporadic spotting or bleeding. I was that 20% that did, which was scary. The doctor later concured that it was a tear near the membrane of the sak of the baby. No harm to the baby, however bedrest was the only cure. This is usually the time when people start making their official announcement. After you reach "lucky 13" without any serious problems, you're pretty much ok. My nausea turned off like a light switch which was great, however my bladder felt like it reduced drastically in size. I also had my monthly OB appointment, which they changed my due date from the initial April 6th to April 8th. Our baby formed its owned fingerprints and skin.

Week 14 = Second Trimester: I made it! A burst of energy, and a sigh of relief. The second trimester is treating me extremely well and for a moment I actually forgot I was pregnant! This is also the time people actually saw that I was pregnant and not just packing on a few lbs in the stomache area. The akward transitional phase of those size 4 pants to the elastic waste is prominant. During this week, it was interesting to find out that the baby forms a bladder and actaully pees inside me. Not only that, it can also squint grimace and frown. I remember looking at the ultrasound during this time and watching the baby actually suck it's own thumb.

Week 15: Since nausea and exhaustion are not a huge problem anymore, although I still have some food aversions, I noticed my appetite slowly increasing. People don't realize that yes, pregnant women due eat more, however it's in sporadic batches. I strive to eat five to six small meals a day. During this week, my baby was busy moving amniotic fluid through its nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in their lungs. Its legs are growing longer than their arms now, and he/she can move all of her joints and limbs. How cute! I also remember sitting in a meeting at work and feeling it move. It's almost like a popcorn affect, and very startling for the first time.

Week 16: This was a big week for us because not only did we find out the gender, but it was on my birthday! The ultrasound technician believed it would be a boy. The Boy-Girl party was a big hit and the cake was absolutely delish. I also had my monthly appointment with my OB and only gained 5 lbs throughout the last month! That still blows my mind. He also changed my due date once again from April 8th to April 4th. Happy Easter to us. A growth spirt happens during this time and I definately felt it. The baby is moving more, although he's not offically "kicking" me, I feel him squirming around.

Week 17: The Laigaments in my adomen are rapidly expanding, and I definately feel them. I'm noticing that I need to walk in increments. My feet are started to get swollen when I stand or walk for long periods. During this period the baby's skelelton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord, the lifeline to the placenta is growing stronger and thicker.

Week 18 = 5 months: I've been telling myself that I would start a regular excerise routine soon since I have more energy than before. It's beginning to become more uncomfortable when I cross my legs as the baby expands all throughout. Word to the wise: when a pregnant girl says she needs to use the restroom, she needs to go. Don't hold her back or else you'll probably be the one cleaning up the aftermath. During all this, the baby's blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born.

People think that pregnancy is actually 36 weeks. It's technically 40. So we're almost half way through.

A Stunning Realization

2009-06-01T20:32:00.002-04:00

I was on my way to work one morning last week listening to Selah singing harmonious, old fashion hymns. It's my down time to myself in order to have patience and understanding throughout the day. (And it works). All of a sudden, the lead singer belted out, "All I have needed thy hands have provided." And it hit me as dawn as day: God has always provided me with what I have needed. Certainly, we don't need anything, but since he's an aswesome God he provides us with some perks to life. How cool is that? I then, without a doubt, thanked him for that.

Blessed

2009-05-15T22:34:00.000-04:00

I heard this song in the Hallmark store this evening and made me stop and think how truly blessed I am.

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

The ABCs of Me!

2009-05-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

A – Age: 25
B – Bed size: queen
C – Chore you hate: Oddly enough, I actually like cleaning.
D – Dog’s name: Allie.
E – Essential start your day item: Opening my eyes.
F - Favorite Color: Royal Blue.
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5'1
I- Instruments you play: Piano.
J - Job Title: Customer Service Rep.
K - Kid(s): None.
L- Living Arrangements: A house with my Hubby.
M - Mom’s Name: Jean.
N - Nicknames: People usually just call me Erin. How original. :)
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Kidney infection at age 4.
Q - Quote from a movie: "I'll have what she's having."- When Harry met Sally.
R - Right or left handed: Leftie.
S - Siblings:1 sister, 1 sister-in-law, 1 brother-in-law.
T - Time you wake up: workday: 6:45 am weekend: 8:00 am
U - First word that comes to your mind for u: Unique.
V - Vegetable you like: Asparagus
W - Ways you run late: Worst pet peeve ever. If I am running late, I'm usually with Jim.
X - X-Rays you’ve had: MRI.
Y - Yummy food you make: everything - Corn pudding and taco casserole.
Z - Zoo favorite: Hippo.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

2009-04-23T19:47:00.001-04:00

I'm going to have a new niece due mid August. Sweet!

Easter

2009-04-12T20:54:00.002-04:00

I love Easter. It touches me emotionally than any other holiday. It's the message behind it that is so blunt, and true that you can't fake any remorse.

Jim and I went to Vermont for the weekend and visited his mom's church for an Easter service. Personally, you don't have to attend a church service in order to comprehend the story behind Easter. It's truly powerful in its own matter. Ergo, I'm blessed and truly thankful for growing up in a church that celebrated Easter with the whole nine yards.

We sang this song this morning and it literally put me in tears. Not obvious ones, but visible. With everything that is personally going on in out life, we still are truly blessed by what God has done with our marriage, our jobs, and our personal relationship with him.

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave

Children...

2009-03-27T19:19:00.001-04:00

...I'll never have them. I just need to realize this.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-19T10:47:00.002-05:00

Once you're married you are guaranteed to have a Valentine every year. However, I remember Valentine's Day when you are too young to date, but too old to spend the day with your parents. Thirteen. What an awkward age. Every Valentine's Day my dad would hand write a poem for my mom, sister and I expressing his appreciation towards each of us in many different ways.

This is what I vividly remember Valentine's Day being about. I wish I still had those poems not because of the talent, time and productivity that was put into them, but from the love he showed us and still does everyday. I hope Jim can pass this tradition onto our children someday when they are able to comprehend the significance and meaning of what Valentine's Day really is about.

Filling Virgin

2009-02-06T11:04:00.002-05:00

I got my first filling this morning. I have gone twenty-five years without having a cavity (thanks fluoride treatment) and then all of a sudden the dental hygienist gave me the news last week. Actually they have been scrutinizing this cavity for a year now, however my enamel is so thick it has actually taken a full year for the cavity to get through to the tooth.

The procedure itself only took thirty minutes and my mouth was completely numb. It's always comical going to the dentist to begin with because of the fact you have so many gadgets in your mouth and the dentist decides to start small talk with you. You lay there as the two dentists hand over special tools to each other and all you can do is listen to the horrendous sound it makes.

This wasn't even a candy cavity. Just a flossing one, which the doctor subtly told me. More flossing for me!

Counting My Blessings

2009-01-05T11:26:00.003-05:00

Whenever I'm feeling blue about something, or I really don't think straight about a situation, Jim makes sure I talk to my mom. Although he does a good job of supporting my actions and encouraging me, my mom always brings me down to earth. Yesterday a found out some news about a family member, and I didn't take it well. I talked to my mom and she told me to, "count your blessings." God has given Jim and I two stable jobs, a house, two working cars, food on the table every night, and encourages us everyday to make the most of it.

It's our natural instinct to get jealous, prideful, or just mean when someone gets what you have been striving for. However, we always need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. God gives us the strength to accomplish struggles in our daily lives. He is our strength when we are weak, he is the treasure that we seek.

And so I am counting my blessings. I'm happy for this family member. I'm happy that what's coming her way will make her even happier.

“When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all.” 1 Corinthians 15:28

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANNY!

2008-12-20T08:20:00.003-05:00

You have always been an inspiration to me...

Second Year is Cotton

2008-12-16T22:35:00.002-05:00

2 Years and counting!

Thankful

2008-12-12T19:43:00.002-05:00

I've traveled here and everywhere
Following my job.
I've seen the paintings from the air
Brushed by the hand of God.
The mountains and the canyons reach from sea to shining sea.
But I can't wait to get back home
To the one he made for me.
It's anywhere I'll ever go and everywhere I've been.
Nothing takes my breath away
Like my front porch looking in.

I'm so blessed. I have it real good.

Bumpy Road

2008-10-26T18:06:00.002-04:00

Along life's road
There will be sunshine and rain
Roses and thorns, laughter and pain.
And 'cross the miles
You will face mountains so steep
Deserts so long and valleys so deep.
Sometimes the Journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
I want you to know

You will never walk alone.
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way.
And you may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is .
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone.

The path will wind
And you will find wonders and fears
Labors of love and a few falling tears.
Across the years
There will be some twists and turns
Mistakes to make and lessons to learn.
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember wherever you may go

You will never walk alone.
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way.
And you may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is .
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone .

Jesus knows your joy, Jesus knows your need.
He will go the distance with you faithfully.

If You're Going Through Hell

2008-10-22T09:47:00.000-04:00

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there.

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there.

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-08T12:23:00.001-04:00

Jim and I bought a house. Sweet.

Happy 13th Birthday to Me

2008-10-01T23:48:00.001-04:00

It's my spiritual birthday. The day I got baptized in front of my church. A day between God and I. Although the road hasn't been a bed of roses, he has never left my side.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29.11

Blue Skies

2008-09-25T23:08:00.002-04:00

I've been bumming for a while now, however I know things are going to get better. I don't like change even when I know it's going to happen.... The pizza. The roommate. The movie last night. Good times. Kept me chill.

On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
Its so hard to see past my fears.
My strength seems to fade
And its all I can do
To hold on, til the light reappears.
Still, I believe though some rains bound to fall
That you're here next to me.
And you're over it all.

The skys still blue
For my hope is in you
You're my joy
You're the dream thats still alive.
Like the wind at my back
And the sun on my face.
You are life
You're grace
You are blue skies.

Patience is a Virtue

2008-09-21T23:09:00.006-04:00

I've had the worst "luck" these past couple of months. Jim and I are searching for our perfect condo, however everywhere we look leads us to a dead end. It has been a complete emotional roller coaster ride. We are on a deadline to an extent, so I would like to find a place in the time we have, although I'm coming to realize that it isn't my time that we are on. It's God's. Our times aren't matching which is even more frustrating.

For instance, I'll be talking to someone and they'll mention to me that they just bought a new house. I want to scream, "No! I'm the one looking not you!" It seems like everyone around me is getting my wish.

I will be the first to say how selfish this sounds, but get real: we are all selfish. We all want things. We all strive to get things. It's just a fact of life. However, as each day approaches us, I'm beginning to remember how we receive things in life. Prayer. Even though God works on his time, when we pray, we're coming to him for guidance, support and knowledge to lead us to which path to choose when we come to that fork in the road. We can always lean on that power of prayer to guide us to where we need to be in life.

We are really fortunate. We have a great place that we live in now that is in an excellent area in Beverly. We have food, clothes and jobs. And I can not express how grateful I am to have the necessities in life.

So, my dear readers, I'm asking you to pray for us. Please. We have come across disappointment after disappointment with a lot of personal situations in the last couple of months that has become very discouraging to me. It's been extremely hard to actually wake up and put a smile on my face everyday and act like nothing is wrong. I'm not one to spill out all my feelings to anyone either but what else can we do?

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Matthew 6.25

It's 9/11 Where were you?

2008-09-11T23:00:00.003-04:00

Senior year of high school. I remember the morning being balmy, as the sun beated down on me as I walked from one campus building to the other in order to take our senior class picture. All 728 of us seated in the gymnasium. Sweet. I didn't have to sit through another English class with whats-his-name. He never remember my last name either, so we're even. I just had to go to Psychology class and then I was done for the day. Yay for early release!

By the time I reached psych. class the first plane had just hit the North Building. The words, "holy shit" unconsciously flew out of my mouth. We sat there stunned, in silence.

When I arrived home the North Building had just collapsed. "What do you mean it just collapsed?" I asked my mom who was sitting on the couch with my sister scrutinizing the television screen. For the rest of the day our eyes were glued to Aaron Brown as he reported every detail of September 11, 2001. For the weeks to come we listened to the eerie sound of silence as no planes flew over my parent's house.

The hours seemed like minutes, and yet the minutes have become seven years. Can you believe that? Seven years have gone by. Seven years since we entered the war with Iraq and I don't think the mourning process ceases to being close to over with our country. On the other hand, I was flabbergasted as I flipped through the channels this evening and saw next to nothing about this tragic event. Is it already a hush-hush ordeal? The next day we got word that our music director of our church had been killed. He was definitely an inspiration to us all.

This morning at work we didn't have our usual meeting. No papers were handed out about our LY numbers or our STD/WTD compared to other stores. "Remember how important today is." That's what they told us. I wish every meeting could be like that.

This is a day in our history that we are able to tell our children and our children's children what we were doing just like our grandmothers tell us where they were when Pearl Harbor was attacked or when Kennedy was shot. "Grocery shopping," is what mine says. It's good to remember.

Is Your Friendship For Sale?

2008-09-10T22:53:00.002-04:00

When its 3 am and she's at your door
and she wants you back
and she's begging for forgiveness.
remember that
When your phone keeps ringing all night long
and that same old weakness gets so strong that you're helpless
remember that.

It doesn't matter how she hurts
you with her hands or with her words
you don't deserve it
it ain't worth it
take your heart and run.

Remember that...

Do No Worry

2008-09-04T22:26:00.002-04:00

I received this story through an e-mail at work this afternoon and I literally got tears. From all the things that have been going on this past week, I really need to take a step back, breathe, and not worry, because everything happens in its own time.

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John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was
doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how
to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked
him, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do
you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices
today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a
bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can
choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. \

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the
positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all
the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to
situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your
choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to
start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I
made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident,
falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from
the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be
twins...Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his
mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my
soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I
remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could
choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into
the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I
got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed
to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John.
'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and
nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and
yelled, 'Gravity'.'

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as
if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to
live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

All Summer Long

2008-09-01T11:29:00.001-04:00

Every summer has an infamous song that everyone is still humming as school starts again. Here's 2008's.

Amazing Grace

2008-08-27T19:46:00.002-04:00

I cried at work today. I usually don't. Actually, I don't think I ever have. My feelings were hurt to the degree that I almost gave my two weeks notice. First of all, I fully understand that I can't announce my two weeks notice because I don't have another job lined up, and second I'm perfectly aware that no else can "hurt" my feelings. It's the way I interpret their words. To make a long story short, and not bore anyone with the details, my manager was extremely stressed about a show she had to be at tonight. In the midst of running around, she said something to me that hit home. I can usually take her criticism as long as I receive a check every Friday, however the words she used towards me this afternoon were unnecessary. In my defense I did stick up for myself to an extent, however I was so mad I wanted to say what was really on my mind, but then I remembered the Proverbs we have been reading in our weekly bible study on Monday nights:

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger," Proverbs 15.

After she left I was so upset. I cursed myself for not saying more, but thought again: In my daily life, how many times do I curse God in the moment of stress? How many times do I blame him for my irresponsibilities? How many times does he lash back at me when I do this? None. Even though I would love a good fight sporadically because that's just my nature, he's always forgiving, loving and opens his arms whenever I tend to fall. (For me that's a lot).

In order to be more like him, this is what I need to do. Even if she doesn't apologize, I still need to be understanding and forgiving. God has such an amazing grace the he shows me every single day that makes me more like him. How cool is that? I need to show this amazing grace as well.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

Memories

2008-08-26T00:37:00.001-04:00

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things willl be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure,
Downtown, everything's waiting for you.

Oh The Anticipation!

2008-08-19T19:50:00.001-04:00

Keeping in contact with everyone in Florida, things are just going. This is the time where you just "wait."

Florida Starts School...NOT!

2008-08-18T15:00:00.002-04:00

So today was the first day to kick off the new school year. Tomorrow is another story. Hurricane days, (instead of snow days), were the best...for the first couple of days. By November you're relieved they are over.

It Is Well With My Soul

2008-08-17T23:51:00.002-04:00

Bika mono ve, mvulusi
mono ku lomba
bu nge vuluswa ba nkaka
bika mono ve

Yesu, yesu
mono ku lomba
bu nge vuluswa ba nkaka
bika mono ve

___________________

Pass me not, o gentle Savior
Hear my humble cry.
While on others thou art calling
Do not pass me by.

Savior, Savior,
hear my humble cry
While on others thou art calling
do not pass me by.

Workaholics

2008-08-14T21:43:00.003-04:00

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

The Countdown Begins

2008-08-14T00:24:00.001-04:00

132 more days until Christmas. Sweet.

UHS

2008-08-12T22:51:00.010-04:00

Taran made me do it...

Did you date someone from your school?
Nope. I kept my relationships at other schools.

Did you marry someone from your high school?
No!!!

Did you car pool to school?
No, just me.

What kind of car did you have?
Toyota Tercel.

What kind of car do you have now?
Toyota Corolla.

It's Friday night...where are you? (then)
Um...Probably at my boyfriend's house or with a bunch of friends somewhere.

It's friday night....where are you ? (now)
Around.

What kind of job did you have in high school?
My job was to get good grades. I did work at Express during Christmas break but I guess that doesn't count.

What do you do now?
Bridal consultant for Macy*s.

Were you a party animal?
I was social.

Were you considered a flirt?
I was nice.

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Nope. German club and Yearbook staff!

Were you a nerd?
I am book smart.

Did you get suspended/expelled
Nope.

Can you sing the fight song?
Haha. I think I heard that song for the first time at Baccalaureate.

Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
I didn't pick favorites. I went to class, did the work, got the A and left. Although I would say the most inspriring class would be Mr. Klongerbough's 11th AP English. GREAT class! So challenging but fun! We read about the Salem Witch Trials...how ironic.

Where did you sit during lunch?
Outside with friends at the bell tower in the commons.

What was your school's full name?
University High School.

When did you graduate?
2002

What was your school mascot?
Cougar.

If you could go back and do it again, would you?
No. Too big. With 5,000 students you don't form true friendships.

Who was your Senior prom date?
For both schools it was my boyfriend at the time.

Did you have fun at Prom?
Eh. It was just another dance, another dress, another dinner, another gazillion pictures to take. The after party was better.

Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Nope.

Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
Sure, if they find out where I am!

Happy Birthday Shelby!

2008-08-09T23:46:00.006-04:00

Ok, ok, ok. I know this is way overdue....by like a week and a half but....happy birthday Shelby! I know you had an awesome birthday! Love you! See you and the rest of the fam in November!

Liars

2008-08-09T23:19:00.006-04:00

One of my pet peeves, (I only have two. The other one being people who ditch you/no shows), are people that lie, and when you know they're lying just to try to come up with an explanation. The comical part is when I know when they're "embellishing" the truth. I think lying is a waste of time and breathe. Sometimes the truth hurts, however it settles better with your conscience when you know you have said the right thing. If everyone just thought before they talked things would go a lot smoother in this world. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about anyone in particular. I'm just expressing how I dislike liars. They loose my trust immediately. I'll be nice to them, as always, but I won't talk to them on a personal level, nor trust them in any retrospect. I have no patience for them at all. Life is too short to deal with people that have to insult your intelligence by telling you something they think you'll believe. Come on people, I may be a little flaky at times, but I'm not dumb. I may not confront you on your faults, but I am a good observer by your body language and can figure out the lies within your explanations. I may not even be mean to you, but I will be weary. You shouldn't be intimated by this at all just realize the facts. Ok, that's all.

The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in men who are truthful.
Proverbs 12.22

Then go if you wanna go
But stay if you want to know the way
Through the mess we've made
Or lie in the bed you know or go

Time Passes By

2008-08-07T23:45:00.003-04:00

I can't believe we're hitting the 2nd week of August already. Wow. Tonight was fun. I tried a cob salad from a tasting Lynn restaurant and started chapters 1 and 2 of Sybil. Very cool.

Night of Joy

2008-07-31T23:02:00.001-04:00

You would think after growing up in Orlando I would have attended at least this at least one year! So deprived.

Stupid Surveys from Myspace

2008-07-30T22:26:00.005-04:00

A is for Age of first Kiss: 15- It was on lunch break between classes.

B is for booze of choice: Long Island Ice Tea.

C is for career: Slave? Oh no, bridal consultant.

D is for your dad's name: Tom

E is for essential items to bring to a party: a sense of humor.

F is for favorite song at the moment: When the Saints by Sara Groves

G is for favorite game: Alissa's "telephone" game. Does it even have a name?

H is for hometown: Orlando, FL.

I is for instruments you play: Piano. I used to be able to play clarinet.

J is for jam or jelly you like: Eh.

K is for kids?: Yup.

L is for last text message?: "Possibly. When would you have to know by?" -Amber.

M is for mom's name: Jean.

N is for name of your crush: My crush? I have a crush on Jim.

O is for overnight hospital stays: Once when I was 5 because I had a kidney infection.

P is for phobias: Frogs.

Q is for quotes you like: "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were". - Kahlil Gibran

R is for relationship that lasted the longest: I think Jim is in the lead.

S is for sexual preference: I like men.

T is for time you wake up: Depends. Today I woke up at 10am.

U is for underwear: Yup. Always.

V is for vegetable you love: I'm beginning to enjoy a variety of them.

W is for worst habit: Assuming.

X is for x-rays you've had: Dental and MRI.

Y is for yummy food you make: I loooove chocolate chip cookies! Great comfort food.

Z is for zodiac sign: Scorpio... determined and forceful. Emotional and intuitive. Powerful and passionate. Exciting and magnetic.

PMDD

2008-07-30T00:47:00.002-04:00

I've been diagnosed with it. The medicine that I did take for it continuously gave me migraines. So I just have to deal with it. I don't normally advertise this, but it might explain my actions in the past two days even though it's a lame excuse. Sorry.

Alex's 1st Birthday

2008-07-28T18:08:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's actually been a full year since our nephew has been born. Jim and I went up to VT this weekend to attend his birthday party. It was descent. Knowing how to plan events and party techniques I could've elaborated a little bit more, but this isn't my kid so I kept my mouth shut and just observed and enjoyed. Whenever I go to a wedding or a birthday party, I always try to collect mental tips that I can use in the future. Later that night, when the kid was asleep we watched Dejavu on demand. On demand is super cool. You just click on the movie and you can watch it anytime. Hence the name "demand." Imagine that! Oh, and the movie was super cool too.

On that note, off to work I go tomorrow!

When The Saints

2008-07-25T00:28:00.001-04:00

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it often overwhelms me
but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life
their courage compells me
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
and when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

It' Been Awhile

2008-07-22T21:42:00.002-04:00

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water

Have you ever kissed anyone named Dave?
Yes.

Where was your default picture taken?
At Sheetz last summer in VA.

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
Kristen

Can you play guitar hero?
I'm sure I can.

Last time you walked further than a block?
This weekend in Boston.

Name someone that made you laugh today?
Jim

When was the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends?
Tonight

How late did you stay up last night and why?
12.30- because we got home late from seeing The Dark Knight.

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I'm quite content.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Alissa.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
If they have to.

Do you prefer to call or text?
I like texting. It's fun to do at work. :)

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
I don't drink it.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
About a week ago when I became really stressed with work.

Where are you at right now?
In my bedroom.

What bed did you sleep in last night?
My own.

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Jim bought me dinner. haha.

When is your birthday?
October 28th

Who took your profile picture?
I think Jim?

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
My sister asleep in the car going to the airport.

Was yesterday better than today?
Yes!

Can you live a day without TV?
Yup.

Are you mad about anything?
No :)

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Sure why not. Just as long as you both agree they are.

Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
Friday night I spend the night at my mom and sister's hotel if that counts.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
The other day.

Are you a bad influence?
I hope not.

Night out or night in?
Depending on the weather.

Are you more of a quiet individual or an outgoing person?
I'm the social butterfly.

What items could you not go without during the day?
My cell phone.

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Maybe? Probably not.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I have no clue.

Last hug?
Jim.

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
I don't like it.

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
I can go for coffee liquor.

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
Nope.

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Hi Erin- we made it back to Orlando and got home around 11pm. Love you and miss you!"-mom.

How do you feel about your life right now?
Itching.

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
To get a ticket? Once.

Do you hate anyone?
Nope.

Did you have a Valentine?
Yup. Forever and for always.

Anyone upset you lately?
Yes.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Some bride.

Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
Absolutely.

How's your heart?
Beating at a steady pace.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes.

Wild Wild West

2008-07-13T23:56:00.004-04:00

I have to compliment the stockroom people at work. Each morning when I arrive at work, they're working hard...with the best music ever! Whoever makes their mix CDs really needs to make me a copy for me. I mean, we all need some pumped up music if we're going to be in the dark for an hour before the store opens. Maybe not, I already get distracted by dancing with them while getting ready for the day anyway. Here's a prime example of one of their great picks. I haven't heard this song in ten years and immediately it was stuck in my head all day. The video is a little strange, and the context of the lyrics are a little vulgar, but it has a great beat!!!

School Answering Machine

2008-07-11T18:37:00.000-04:00

This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended! This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School California staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do
his work -Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in Spanish, move to a country that speaks it

Humanly Hate

2008-07-08T23:10:00.004-04:00

I'll admit it: I'm stubborn. Too independent. Has to finish what I start. Perfectionist. Put all that together in a typical A personality and let the emotions run wild. So when something irks me, it irks me for a long time.

God tells us not to hate. Love our neighbor. Keep our friends close, and our enemies closer. Blah blah blah. However, when it comes to one person in particular, I will always hatred towards him. I have tried to like him. I've even tried to welcome him into the family in the beginning. I have tried to the 5th degree but it just didn't work. My grandmother's second husband came into our lives like a huge whirlwind and took over our family before we could even introduce ourselves. He was manipulative from the gecko, and didn't stop there with the possessiveness he had for her. For everyone that doesn't know him will never understand how I feel. I'm not the hating type. I dislike people. Everyone does. And when you do, you just try to avoid them. You can't avoid someone when they're married into your family with that I will never call him family.

He controlled her. Spit on us. Manipulated others. Told lies about me and my sister. Talked about how great his first wife was all the time. Shall I go on? He passed away in the summer of 1999 and we sighed with relief that we might be able to put this chapter behind us. Not so fast. His children also hated my grandmother and wanted to make her life a living hell.

Almost ten years after his death, this battle is still going strong. His daughter has deserted an elderly lady of her spendings by not supporting her with the money her father left behind. How cruel, selfish, bitchy, and self centered can one person be? It hurts me to see my grandmother living this way. She tells me not to worry, but I do. "It's called faith, Erin." my she said to me yesterday afternoon. "I've lived 85 years. Through wars, deaths and other unfortunate times, but everything seems to work out in the end." Ok, so tell me: When does it end with him? He passed away a decade ago but his children are still abusing her. When will they go away?

I've tried to ask God to heal my heart about the hate I have for him. I even tried to forgive him. After all, everyone deserves a second chance. I can't. I've come to the conclusion that as long as I am living I will hate him more and more each day. I'm not going to make it my goal, but that is how my feelings for him will grow. For the past 12 years, since I was introduced to him my skin has always crawled with discuss whenever someone has mentioned his name, or worse, when I come across a picture of the two of them. My grandmother will always be right. We all need faith. We all need love. We all need hope. Hope that his children will be punished for their actions.

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

Home of the Brave

2008-07-04T13:29:00.003-04:00

Take a minute to visulize Freancis Scott Key writing this legandary song, (that became our official anthem in 1931) out on a boat looking over the battles of Fort Henry during the war of 1812.

When I was in grade school we had to memorize the whole song. Read the lyrics. They're pretty deep. What a genius.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;BGSOUND LOOP="-1" SRC="/midi/ssbanner.mid"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Boot n Scootin

2008-06-28T12:03:00.001-04:00

I got a good job, I work hard for my money.
When it's quittin' time, I hit the door running.
I fire up my pick-up truck, and let the horses run.
I go flyin' down that highway to that hideaway,
stuck out in the woods to do the boot scoot boogie.

The Controversial Survey

2008-06-27T00:16:00.005-04:00

1. Would you do meth if it was legalized?
No way.

2. Abortion: for or against?
Against it. 110%.

3. A 2 month old child and a 65 year old man who has the cure for
cancer but hasn't had a chance to announce it yet, one of them has
to die...who should survive?
This question is worded so horribly. I don't like playing God.

4. Would our country fall with a woman president?
It depends on the woman. All and all, I think we would be fine.

5. Do you believe in the death penalty?
Absolutely.

6. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Not really.

7. Do you believe in God?
Yes.

8. Do you think its wrong that so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
No, it's a free country.

9. A 12 year old girl has a baby... should she keep it?
It really depends on her support system. If she doesn't have a balanced support system for the baby, then the only fair thing to do for the baby would be to give it up for adoption.

10. Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
No. I think it was changed to 21 for a reason.

11. Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Something needs to change.

12. Assisted suicide is illegal...do you agree?
A painless, but an illegal death that you're committing on yourself. Playing God scares me.

13. Do you believe in spanking your children?
I believe you need to be consistent with your punishments to your children. If spanking them makes them learn their lesson, do it the minute they misbehave. Don't wait until later. I was spanked. I think I turned out OK.

14. Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
Not for TEN million dollars.

15. A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case...what do you think?
I think everyone has some common sense to know the difference between right and wrong and what their actions are. This is just a lame excuse. I think that her sin will be its own punishment.

16.
It's between you and a person who is being kept alive by life support
machines...one has to die? Who?
I don't ever want to be kept alive by a machine. Please pull the plug and let me live in peace.

17.Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Not afraid, but I do acknowledge it's going to happen.

WII

2008-06-22T19:10:00.001-04:00

I just learned I kick you know what at bowling on the Wii. Strikes all around. (So close to a turkey) Score: 202 from 134. I think that's an improvement.

Your Secret is Safe With Me

2008-06-22T00:53:00.004-04:00

Have you ever gotten that gut feeling, the one you want to ignore because you know it's always right? I've had it all week. Have you ever felt like people don't tell you obvious things because they think it might hurt you and so you pretend to go along with their petty little game? I've also had this feeling all week too. Get a life people. Sometimes the truth hurts. On that note, I think I have turned into a cold hearted bitch. Like anyone cares.

Happy Birthday Grandaddy

2008-06-20T18:53:00.003-04:00

You're rainbow showered over me this evening...

Trust

2008-06-19T00:11:00.003-04:00

Remember that game in elementary school that we all played during recess called the Trust Game? I never could do it. I could never trust anyone to catch me. I always ended up giving in because I wanted my participation points, but the fear of having no one to trust rattled my mind every time.

Just because you do not trust someone does not mean you can not be civilized to them. I have been battling this on going issue with myself for the past couple of weeks. You will always get more honey then vinegar. I mean, some say there's no connection if the other person can not learn to trust....again. There is. It is just limited. You can always be weary, especially if you have had encounters with that particular person before. Or you can chose to just not have them in your life. If they mean something to you, then this would be hard to do. But what's it worth- having to always question whether or not you are going to loose their confidence again or just not having to worry about it at all? That is up to me to decide. I have learned from other mistakes that you are the only person you can trust and sometimes that is hard. Let's be honest. We all lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better.

-"Oh I can have that candy bar because I just ran a mile."
-"I did only spend $10.00. Tax was just added."
-"Nobody will read this if I just write it to myself."

How stupid can we get? Lying to ourselves to make ourselves feel better if just pathetic. Why do we do it? On that note, why do we lie to others? Why do we brake another's person's trust? Sure, we don't do it intentially, but it happens. Shit happens. Life goes on. This will always be a mystery to me.

Come On

2008-06-18T23:46:00.001-04:00

Is it the weekend yet?!?!?!

When God Fearin Women Get The Blues

2008-06-15T20:54:00.002-04:00

While I was in New York last weekend I shared a hotel room with my mom, sister, my mom's friend Cathie and her daughter Shelby who's also involved in Girl Scouts. It was fun. Especially in the morning when we were all trying to get ready for our big activities for the day. The hotel provided us with an Ipod alarm clock. So we jammed to our favorite tunes. The best was an oldie but a goodie. Martina McBride will always be on my top five list.

Lock up your husbands
Lock up your sons
Lock up your whiskey cabinets
Girls lock up your guns
And Lock up the beauty shop
No tellin if they've heard the news
Call the boys downtown and Neiman Marcus
Tell Em' lock them high heeled shoes

When God fearin' women get the blues
There ain't no slap down a tellin what they're gonna do
Run around yellin
I've got a mustang it'll do 80
You don't have to be my baby
I stirred my last batch of gravy
You don't have to be my, be my, be my baby

Call all the deacons
Call the ladies aid
Call all the altos, sopranos
Tenors call every bass
Well call all the Pentecostals
And bring all the anointing oil too
Well call the preacher
He's the only one who can reach her
And there ain't no time to lose

New York City

2008-06-10T22:22:00.004-04:00

Without further ado, my adventure to the City that never sleeps... trust me, it doesn't...

Saturday, June 7th I got the guts to explore the Chinatown bus that drives just to New York and Boston. $30.00 round trip isn't something to complain about. There was nothing exciting about the bus. I texted, read, and listened to my Nano for three and a half hours. When we finally arrived in Chinatown New York, I was left to fend for my self in the suburbs of the city. My first mission: getting a taxi. I walked and followed everyone else. When they put their hand in the air to wave one down, so did I. Apparently your arm is a very powerful force to taxi drivers. Later on during my trip I actually learned that when the taxi's cab light is on he's on duty. When it's off, he's off duty. Maybe that's why it took me awhile to get one.

Sunday, June 8th I awoke from sleeping on the floor at the Waldorf hotel. I was bunking in with my mom, sister, Shelby, and Cathie, our neighbors across the street who are also in Girl Scouts. We had to be at breakfast at 8am. This meant for five girls we had some serious hustling to do in the morning. This wasn't the first time all of us had bunked together. We should be pros at this by now with eleven years of Girl Scout trips behind us.

After breakfast we took a walk to the MET. From the Renaissance era, to the 19-20th impressionists I really enjoyed it. This best part was the observation deck which overlooked the entire city. Although it was triple digits outside, it still completely took my breath away.

The girls had tickets to go see Grease on Broadway so I took a cab back to the hotel to freshen up for dinner. During this time there was a Puerto Rican parade that approximately 2 millionm people were attending. My cab driver told me he could only take me a couple of blocks and then I would have to walk. Walking was great. I was able to take pictures of Radio City and the NBC studio. I might have been in the parade once or twice from trying to get from one sidewalk to the next.

Sunday night our group went to the infamous Bobby Flays Mesa Grill. It was outstanding. Incredible food, and liquor. The Girl Scout leader bought all the adults tequila drinks. This gave us the extra boost to explore Time Square afterwards. When I say this city doesn't sleep, it really doesn't. Here it is on a Sunday night and everything is open like it's a random Tuesday. It still ceases to amaze me when reminiscing on my walk down 3th street.

Monday, June 8th came as we had to meet up at 7.00am. Making our way down Park Ave, and then heading towards 5th Ave, you really try to get a sense of how people actually live in the city. The cabs, the trends, the lack of communication. It's a completely different world. As we hiked 10 blocks we arrived at Rockefeller Center where the Today Show was being taped live. I will always be a journalist at heart so this touched home for me. We didn't see any of the cast outside, but it was truly amazing to get a glimpse through the windows and see the lights and cameras. We had a little time to spare so my mom tugged at my arm to guide me in the direction of Fox News and to see if Fox and Friends were taping their morning show. She was lucky enough to not only be on Fox and Friends, but to sip blueberry martinis with the meteorologist last summer when she my dad, and the Jones visited New York. However on my morning I didn't have much luck, but it was a great experience to see their studio as well.

Rockefeller Center was followed by a 9.00am tour of the NBC studio. This was out of this world. We got to see the set of Cohen, SNL and Brian Williams. The Scouts also volunteered my for an audience participation skit where I had to read a teleprompter. Wow, this really took me back to my days interning at NBC in Orlando. How ironic.

When the tour was over we ran all over the gift shop like tourists do grabbing little knick knacks here and there. We can impersonate tourists really well because we see them everyday in Orlando. However, we didn't have the fanny backs or the British accents.

Our next stop for the day was Madaam Toussauds. This place is mandatory for all visitors to go through when they're in the city. I haven't laughed, screamed, or had the time of my life like we did in this wax museum in a really long time. By the end of the tour you have a hard time depicting who's waxed and who isn't.

For lunch we went to a well-known fab favorite for all the stars, Serendipity 3. It was fun. Frozen hot chocolate drinks and chicken salad sandwiches. Very chic.

By then, I knew my trip was coming to an end so all fourteen of us headed to the hotel to relax. Although first stopping in the worlds largest store, Macy*s at Herald Square. It was a treat to see how their bridal department differed from our's. I gathered up my belongings at the hotel and flagged down a taxi, (which by now I have become a true expert) and headed off into the sunset in the direction of Chinatown and wished them a wonderful time at Top of the Rock that night.

I can rave about New York all I want because I don't live there, and I wouldn't want to live there. Their drivers are insane, their accents are horrendous, and their sales tax is at 11%. But damn, it's a great place to visit!

A Week From Hell...

2008-06-07T00:59:00.003-04:00

...That I don't want to repeat...ever.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It's Hurricane Season!

2008-06-06T01:07:00.002-04:00

I like to think of myself as a true Floridian at heart. June 1st started the season.

1. Home Depot had it's annual ritual.

2. Drum roll please for the official 2008 hurricane names....

3. Let's predict how long my parents can stay boarded up with no AC, in the 90 plus degree heat and no electricity. And when they are given these luxuries they get word another storm is on it's way which will end up being a habitual routine over the next four months. (I think it sounds like I've been through this experience more than once).... sounds like a fun filled Florida summer to me!

A Grandmother's Wisdom

2008-06-05T12:19:00.003-04:00

My Granny called me earlier this morning to see how I was doing. She told me something that I haven't heard in awhile and needed to hear:

"Erin, all your strength and wisdom comes from God and no one else. He will give it to you, you just have to ask. Us Fultons are tough women! Everything always ends OK."

This is coming from the lady that got married at age nineteen and then didn't see her husband for two years while he was off at war. They were married fifty plus years. This is the lady that has out lived two husbands, a serious beau and all her siblings. She stands on what she believes in because at eighty-five years old you know things will work out and you have to be strong. You can't just give up and, "fall a part" as she refers to me when I'm in the middle of a crisis. What a very wise woman.

I thought that was pretty cool.

Blue Sky

2008-06-03T22:56:00.004-04:00

With all the hurt and betrayal I have felt within the past twenty-four hours, and trying to go to work and acting like nothing is wrong, (apparently I'm a horrible liar because wearing sunglasses inside to cover up tears isn't obvious), I heard this song over the intercom and understood it perfectly.

I'm blind with eyes wide open
My body's tired and broken
I want a taste of something, that doesn't leave me dry
This hope for answered questions
As rare as true conviction
I stare into the distance, there is no truth in sight
Who can tell me why

Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me

In the past twenty-four years of my life I have only been hurt, I mean really hurt just once where I have felt used, completely dirty, and to the point where I thought I was damage goods. This situation that I'm dealing with at the moment tops that tens times more. Yes, I might contradict myself after I say this but I have forgiven the person, or people for that matter and I'm not holding a grudge. However, feelings can not just go away because you have a big "talk." I realize I'm the only one that can control my emotions, but sometimes people really do impair your feelings to the point where whenever you see them you're reminded of how they wounded your heart so much. And that really sucks because for a moment I thought they actually cared about me, because I cared deeply for them. All I can say is time is an essence. And if it's worth it, it will heal. And if it's really worth it, an outcome will be resolved. That's if both parties are willing.

Sucky

2008-06-01T22:39:00.002-04:00

Life sucks. Work sucks. People suck. My attitude sucks. Do you see a pattern here?

Thoughts

2008-05-31T00:49:00.002-04:00

I had another "what if" moment tonight. Actually the same one. Can the person that keeps telling me (actually jokingly because it's in good humor in a very distorted perception) stop reading my mind? Thank you. You know who you are.

Loss

2008-05-28T23:16:00.004-04:00

We all dread those phone calls when the person on the other end says, "listen, I have to talk to you about a few things." We immediately know something is terribly wrong. We know she's in heaven now.

Pass me not, o gentle Savior
Hear my humble cry.
While on others thou art calling
Do not pass me by.
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry
While on others thou art calling do not pass me by.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

So Hot

2008-05-27T20:58:00.002-04:00

I think I have a thing for rockers (and winners). Shh. Don't tell anyone.

Should've Would've Could've

2008-05-27T18:50:00.004-04:00

Do you ever have those moments when you think about something or someone and wonder how your life would be different if you chose different paths along the way? I think we've all had those moments whether they are short lived or will haunt us for the rest of our living lives. Here's an analogy:

Person A likes Person B
Person B starts to notice Person C.
Person A and C are completely oblivious to Person B's feelings.

OR

Person A gets offered a job at Destination B
Destination C offers more than Destination B.
Person A picks Destination C but always wonders how life would've turned out at Destination B.

Is this wrong? I mean, don't you think life is too short to just "what if" all the time?

I had a "what if" moment this past weekend. It was extremely off the charts when a friend brought up the whole ideal to me this morning without me even mentioning it to them. I'm not going to go into full detail about it either, "don't write anything you want the whole world to see" is what my grandmother always told me growing up and I still ably by that rule to this day especially when it comes to the Internet. Yes, sometimes I will slip up and just vent but most of the time I do keep a lot of things to myself. Maybe I'll tell a close friend but that's slim pickings too.

The question now is do I take my own advice and act on my thoughts or just let it rest? Someone once said,

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

Good call.

How Great Thou Art

2008-05-26T23:42:00.002-04:00

A lot of us tend to forget this part of the song. Read, think and comprehend it people. It's pretty rad.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

P.A. Means...

2008-05-24T23:44:00.001-04:00

Just plain hard core fun with lots and lots of good, down to earth people.

Team David!

2008-05-21T12:22:00.003-04:00

It's double D Day on American Idol tonight. Which David will win? I like them both. Neither have ever been in the bottom three which is extremely impressive. Cook, 25, is more versatile in the song choices he sings as shown from last night, however Archie, 17 works the crowd. I think he'll win. I didn't vote this year because I could not decide between the two. I think they are both awesome!

Line Dancing

2008-05-14T15:38:00.003-04:00

Ever since those summertime days in Vermont back between the ages of 6-11 when my mom would take me to go line dancing with her I have been truly addicted. Tonight Jim and I are meeting Amber and her mom at Jesse Blacks for some dancin! I can hardly wait!

This one was my all time favorite to dance to, and the first one I was introduced to by my uncle.

Yeah, heel, toe, docie doe come on baby let's go boot scootin
Cadilac black jack, baby meet me outback we're gonna boogie
Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin' boogie

It's a Negative

2008-05-13T22:41:00.004-04:00

The neurologist called me today with my MRI results. After analyzing the X-rays they fortunately found nothing harmful . This is a true lift off my shoulders. However, he does want me to come in for a follow up appointment which will take place in July. He believes that if there was nothing that the x-rays showed, then there could possibly be a pinched nerve due to my scoliosis which evedentally causes migraines. This could lead to neck soreness or cramping.

I just want to thank everyone who has been giving me such great support this past week. Your words of affirmation, phone calls and hugs truly mean a lot. Inside I have been a complete basket case with this whole scenario by going off on catastrophic thoughts, but I can pretty much hide any emotion I have from the public. I know I really should start expressing my feelings, thoughts and opinions more often but I feel like it would be just a waist of time if no one would agree with them. Even the biggest thing like this I have showed no tears to anyone...except Jim. He's just a given. So, now you know: if I cry in front of you, you know you mean a lot to me.

Our vacation down in Florida has been going very smoothly. Jim and I went to Cocoa today. Visited Ron Jon's, I got burnt to a crisp and got up close and personal to those estranged wild fires that have been making national news. Florida is burning up good times. I95 was closed, however being a born Floridian I knew all the back roads that took us home from the beach. I went to a pilates class with Amber, my mom and sister tonight and Jim and I are meeting up with her tomorrow at Jessie's bar for some good ole line dancing! Yee-haw. Disney is in the works for Thursday. Oh boy.

On the contrary, my family is in the midst of forming a family reunion, (which my aunt and I have been trying to push for the past SIX years). A suggestion of taking a cruise over Turkey Day since it'll be my cousin's birthday was going around. I guess I should start putting my event planning skills to the test!

You're a Heatbreaker

2008-05-12T15:58:00.002-04:00

He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns.
Sweet-talkin' forked tongue haf a temptin' charm.
Before I turned around, that boy was gone.
All I can say is: "Bartender, pour me somethin' strong."

Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass.
I hope he's happy with her.
Here's to the boy, who wrecked my world,
That angel who did me in.
I think the devil drives a Coupe de Ville.
I watched 'em drive away over the hill,
Not against his will, an' I've got time to kill,
Down in Brokenheartsville.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T17:31:00.003-04:00

Have you called your mom yet? If not, grab your phone and start dialing! Even if she does not deserve the Mother of the Year Award every mother needs to know how much they are appreciated at least once a year. I mean, think about it, you would not be here if it wasn't for her.

But the child's mother said, "As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you," 2 Kings 4.30

I know, the picture is old, but it is always a goodie.

My First MRI

2008-05-09T23:18:00.002-04:00

I will confess that I was a MRI virgin up until this morning. I would describe it as more uncomfortable than painful. Besides the injection in my arm, which was a little painful, everything else in the process was just down right uncomfortable.

Before any of the action started I was prescribed Valium in order to relax during the procedure. The assistant explained the step by step process to me as she handed me my hospital gown and robe. They would be taking eight pictures, six with the injection from my arm, two without.

I was told to lay on the MRI bed as the male nurse and assistant handed me a pillow for my head and my feet. They padded my sides with cushion and made sure my ear plugs were snug inside me.

The helmet came on and they slid me into the screening section. The noises were excruciating which made me really uncomfortable because I don't like loud noises to begin with. I don't even like the television volume to exceed the limit of five.

The whole procedure took about forty-five minutes to complete. The male nurse gave me my copy of the X-Rays to give to my neurologist during my follow up session with him. I should hear about the results by Tuesday at the latest.

So that was a snitch. I was scared. I still am. I'm more scared now to hear what the results are. Even if my doctor does find something to be a little disturbing and tells me to do another MRI I think I'll be more calm about it, (hopefully this won't happen). After all, you always remember your first.

Enhancing My Vacabulary

2008-05-07T18:42:00.002-04:00

I think those People Magazine crossword puzzles I habitually do every Friday have enhanced my vocabulary to the extent that I know every answer on Merv Griffin's Crossword Game Show. Wow. What a way to spend my lunch breaks.

Revolutionary Randomness

2008-05-05T22:46:00.002-04:00

How far away is your 10 yr reunion? 4 years

Do you speed up when you go thru an intersection? If it's a yellow light, yes

How far away is work? 15 minutes away.

How often are you late for work? We have a five minute grace period. I'm within that time frame.

Everyone's got one...

Who's the person you can't stand at work? His name will remain anonymous.

Do you give strangers fake smiles? If I need to. I'm pretty nice to most people.

Do you face your money all the same direction? Yes.

Do you put your money in order from largest amount to smallest? It keeps me more organized.

Do you eat borritos with a knife and fork? I don't eat burritos.

What color is your cell phone? Silver and pink.

Ever pretend to be annoyed when your phone rings but secretly love it? Haha Yes!

Did you know the sweetener in diet soda turns into formaldahyde (emblaming fluid) When it's at body temperature? No, I didn't know that.

Did you just swear off diet soda? I don't drink soda.

Have you ever named a pet the name you wanted for your first child? I would.

Do you really need to take your dog everywhere? NO!

What kind of computer are you on? Samsung.

What is your favorite kind of apple? Granny Smith.

What is the last thing you had to drink? Hot chocolate.

Is your hair down or up? Up.

How many windows/tabs are open on your computer? A couple.

Have you spoken to anyone on the phone today? Yes.

What would you say is your worst habit? Probably being late to anything.

Do you own any expensive jewelry? Yes.

Have you ever roasted marshmallows on a fire? Of course.

What is the closest thing to you that is pink? My phone.

Who was the last person to text you? Amanda.

Have you ever been out of the country? Yes.

Is a glass half empty, or half full? Always half full

Do you wear shorts more often, or skirts? I guess I wear more skirts since I wear them to work.

What color is the shirt you're wearing? Navy blue.

Do you wear glasses/contacts? Both. But not at the same time.

What brand are the shoes that you're wearing? Tommy.

What is the last phrase you said out loud? "Do you want to play a card game?"

Do you prefer Mexican food, or Chinese food? Chinese.

Have you ever been in a wedding? Yes.

How about to a funeral? Yes.

Does your shower have doors, or curtains? Doors.

Where was your default picture taken? In my parent's kitchen on my sister's 16th birthday.

Have you ever gone deep sea fishing? Does snorkeling in the gulf count?

Do you own slippers? Yes.

Would you ever use a Ouija Board? Never.

Have you ever ran with scissors? Probably.

Have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Haha yea.

Are you ticklish? Not too much, but yes.

Are your toenails painted? No.

When Grandma Goes To Court

2008-05-05T15:03:00.002-04:00

My mom sent me this...

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

I'm Scared

2008-05-04T00:28:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to laugh this subject off like it's no big deal but the people around me aren't. Yes, I have been dealing with sufficient migraines for the past couple of months that have involved excruciating pain. The type of pain like, "if I feel a migraine coming forget the plans for that night, dear because I won't be able to move pain". I went to see a neurologist this past Wednesday to see what he could ponder up. He listed the likeliness of having migraines:

I'm a girl.
Family history
Have anxiety

Check, check, and check. After he took fifteen minutes of pointing out the obvious he asked me if they only happen "during your mensies." After telling him that I have never heard anyone describe TOM like that, I explained that I wish it was just once a month, but instead they happen mostly three times of month and usually start at the left temple and moves over to the right.

Then came the neurology tests: following the finger with only my eyes and without moving your head, the sobriety test which details a focus of touching my nose to his finger not by speed but by accuracy and walking in a straight line not only forwards, but backwards, on my tippy toes, and my heels.

Passed, passed, and passed. This wore me out. He then took out a gadget that tested my reflexes: the elbows, knees and the souls of my feet. I had to tell him if the gadget was hot or cold on both hands, and if it was sharp or dull on the bottom of my feet. Then he did the notorious hit to the knee.

This is where we found a problem. My reflexes on my right side are completely normal, however my reflexes on my left side are numb, or "don't match the same reaction as your right side." Coincidentally, this is how my migraines start; Left to right. Now that we have found the problem we need to fix it. He scheduled me for a MRI for this upcoming Friday.

I agreed even though I was feeling really uneasy by this point. He explained to me he wasn't trying to scare me but he also wasn't one of those doctors that just, "schedules this stuff. There's a problem on your left side. It could be leading up to hemorrhaging. I need to find out for sure."

Hemorrhaging. Wow. That's scary stuff. I mean, not to sound pessimistic but couldn't that lead to a stroke? Is a twenty-four year old capable of having a stroke? I always like to see the water half full so I'm not even going to consider thinking about that unless I absolutely have to. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see what the MRI finds. It could end up being absolutely nothing besides my paranoia. Besides, I have a full schedule of activities to keep my mind busy during the week. (No pun intended). Work, AM walks with Alissa, work, American Idol, work, LOST get together, and more work. I'll keep you updated.

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3.5-6

Momzillas!

2008-05-01T23:23:00.004-04:00

People usually think that the brides are the most reckless, selfish and temperamental girls during the planning process than anyone else. Wrong. I have concurred that the moms are far worse. On that note, I must say my mom was the best person to work with when I was planning my own wedding.

I couldn't imagine a bride that has to deal with an insane mother. I mean, get a life lady, you already had your day when dirt was new. This is your daughter's. I had this encounter tonight while I was working.

I only went in for four hours since I called out sick. I wasn't too worried about it because I have done overtime during this past week (but that's a totally different story for a different day). Anyway, as I was budgeting the numbers that we made yesterday for the first day of our Friends and Family event, I was approached by a MOB (mother of the bride) and an aunt. They explained to me that they had just driven from Burlington to purchase two goblets. Fantastic so far. Our computer showed that we had two, however we technically only had one for buying because the other one was the floor model. I explained to them under no circumstances I could sell the floor model. That's when all holy hell broke loose. The MOB said the shower was tomorrow and she had to get two goblets for a present. OK, this is when you want to scream, "idiot! your the bride's mom and your procrastinating until the last minute? How dare you!" But I didn't. They asked to speak to a manager, she said the same thing. We can't sell the model. They took our names and blah blah blah.

It was quiet in the store after they left and I was able to roughly listen to the new music the store is trying out. One song happened to be Hanson. I thought that was funny.

Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me

If you want to call that excitement go right ahead. It just boggles my mind how moms can be so neurotic about little things during their daughter's engagement. Making the day all about them. How selfish can one person get? I truly believe this is how the bride gets so stressed out. I keep thinking to myself how lucky I was to have a mom that was completely devoted to the wedding planning, however let me do the actions. She went with me as well as my sister and cousin (the maid of honor) to the taste testings, the appointments with the vendors, the reception sites, the wedding registry, and the dress shopping, (and I must point out I chose the 3rd dress I tried on). It was just hard core FUN! I had the final say with everything...if it was in the budget.

On another note, whatever music Aaron's playing is really cool. Good play list. Keep it real.

Being sick sucks but it's funny how Jim went around our room spraying Oust. Good times. Hopefully it won't last long because I'm really excited about our trip to Florida next weekend and I would appreciate it if my immune system could enjoy the vacation as well.

His and Her's

2008-04-29T21:01:00.003-04:00

[one]
What are your middle names?
Michael and Jean

[two]
How long have you been together?
Together: four years. Married: Over a year.

[three]
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About ten months.

[four]
Who asked who out?
He asked me.

[five]
How old are each of you?
He is 25 I'm 24.

[six]
What are your astrological signs?
Libra, Scorpio.

[seven]
Who's mother do you see the most?
Ironically mine even though he's lives just four hours away and mine is 1600 miles away.

[eight]
Who’s siblings do you see the most?
Again, mine.

[nine]
Do you have any children together?
Nope.

[ten]
What about pets?
We have balloons :)

[eleven]
How many times a week do you see each other?
Everyday.

[twelve]
Who said I love you first?
I did.

[thirteen]
Did you go to the same school?
We went to the came college.

[fourteen]
Are you from the same hometown?
No.

[fifteen]
Do you live in the same town now?
Yes.

[sixteen]
Who's the smartest?
Depends on the topic.

[tnineteen]
Who is more sensitive?
I am.

[twenty]
Where do you eat out at most as a couple?
We really don't eat out that much. If we did, probably 99.

[twenty one]
Where do you shop the most as a couple?
Macy*s and Old Navy.

[twenty two]
Where is the furthest you have traveled as a couple?
Hawaii.

[twenty three]
Who has the best group of friends?
We have the same friends.

[twenty four]
Who has the worst temper?
He does.

[twenty five]
Who does the cooking?
He's a good cook.

[twenty six]
Who is more social?
I am.

[twenty seven]
Who is the neat-freak?
ME!

[twenty eight]
Who is the most affectionate?
We're pretty equal on that part.

[twenty nine]
Who is the most stubborn?
We both are very stubborn!

[thirty]
Who hogs the bed?
That's personal.

[thirty one]
Who wakes up earlier?
He does.

[thirty two]
Who has the bigger family?
I do.

[thirty three]
Do you give/get flowers often?
Yes!

[thirty four]
How do you spend the holidays?
We're learning how to split the holidays between families. So far it's been OK.

[thirty five]
Do you have pet names for each other?
No.

Hanson Mania

2008-04-29T00:23:00.002-04:00

It was early on a hot, sticky, and humid Saturday morning as I anxiously stood in line by myself as my two other girlfriends, and our moms were sporadically placed throughout the thousands of teeny-bopper girls. We knew the game and knew how to play it well. You see, Ticketmaster does a lottery whenever tickets go on sale at the Orlando Arena. When you arrive, you take a ticket and stand in line. Whose ever number is called is first in line and everyone in front of them goes to the end of the line. If we did our probability correctly, (as we always did), we would end up receiving decent seats to the Hanson concerts. That was 1997-2000.

Jumping eight years, Grammy nominated, owning their own record label and two albums later I saw Hanson again. Tickets for their shows were always reasonable compared to the other "boy bands" during their time however this time I could just walk into the Ticketmaster at work and not worry about seating because it was general admission. Without further ado, here's my adventure...

Amanda was reluctant to tag along with me, even though by the end of the night she did confess she had an amazing time. Hampton Beach, NH is only about an hour north from here just along the coast. The two of us grabbed a nutritious meal that consisted of a quarter pounder with cheese and drove on up.

The directions did tell us to go along 95, however we crossed the border by driving on back roads which completely confused us. One minute we're in a quinte little town, the next we had ended up on Bob's road along the trailer park. We finally had to stop because first I was laughing so hard, and secondly, the road ended right at the beach when we're supposed to be looking for a casino.

We assumed a casino looked likes a casino. Vegas baby. We forgot we were in New Hampshire. Sure, enough we drive right by a place with little blue print that says "Casino Beach". This place had a skating rink, hot dog stand, and one of those bowling games where you can win a stuff animal. It was really like a fair. It was a beach town. So we parked and when I mean park, we literally just turned off the car and prayed to God we wouldn't be towed.

During our waiting period we met some other girls who ironically all live in the Northshore vicinity. We all exchanged numbers, gabbed about Hanson and talked about school.

The opening act was fantastic. Stephen Kellogg has a talent for piano playing. That guy can work those fingers. It was amazing. The group was so good Amanda purchased their CD and there was a time where we could meet them after the show.

Hanson came on and we all felt like we were fourteen all over again. Quite frankly it was a little refreshing. For two hours we could just scream, dance and wave our hands and have not a care in the world because 2,000 other girls our age were doing the same thing. I had forgotten how much fun concerts were. I've been to small indie ones here and there but nothing major. Plus we had a fantastic view.

So now I'm back to reality. Fortunately all of us girls are getting together Saturday night. I'll be able to act care free one more time.

I find hope and it gives me rest
I find hope in a beating chest
I find hope in what eyes don't see
I find hope in your hate for me
Have no fear when the waters rise
We can conquer this great divide

What The Kids Are Listening To

2008-04-25T18:40:00.003-04:00

Kristen's Sweet Sixteen party was a blast. I think I did an awesome job if I might say so myself as I pat myself on the back for my achievement. I think the best part was just observing how sixteen year olds act. It's too funny. Admiring themselves in the mirror, telling each other how beautiful they all are and taking pictures in different poses. It was completely a riot. I actually joined in on the fun.

On the way home the girls that live in our neighborhood hitched a ride with us from the hotel after the party and blasted the radio. Lonestar's Amazed came on the oldies but goodies station.

"Girls, I love this song! I remember when it first came out. they totally played it at my prom."

Complete silence from the backseat.

"Ok, I feel old."

Here's a little snip of that moment... Please excuse the driving and singing.

HAPPY SWEET 16 KRISTEN!

2008-04-19T20:28:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday Kristen! You're the best sister ever. I love you "a million times a million!"

Going Back To My Youth

2008-04-17T13:10:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting here in my mom's classroom listening to her teach 8th grade English to adelescents. I haven't really been to this school, (besides the sporadic visits ), since I left here ten years ago. It's a strange feeling.

I arrived last night fashionably late, but safely. Our flight was 75 minutes late, however it's amazing how people don't get irritate when there's a Sox/Yankees game on. "Folks, your flight is on it's way from Baltimore, so it'll be here within the hour." No groans, just silence as everyone's attention was on the television screen. Oh, the joy of flying.

Sticking Up For Myself

2008-04-14T11:25:00.004-04:00

Jim says I need to stick up for myself more at work. Working seven days straight with five of them being 1-10 shifts can really wipe you out. Plus, it's really a stressful time because June is approaching which is the biggest wedding month out of the whole year. So this is my apology to whomever I have snapped at or have just been plain rude to within the past week. It's a lame excuse but I literally have cried myself home from work every night because of the stress.

On Saturday I made a $3,000 sale which by the end of the day doubled what we needed to make for the day. Do I get a fucking cookie for that? No. Not that I was looking for any recognition, but come on people throw me a bone sometime!

People ask me why June is the most popular month to get married. Is it too clich'e? I tell them what my mom enlightened me on when I was younger:

It all started in England during the 1500's. People took their yearly baths in May when the weather warmed up. By June, they were still fairly clean and smelled pretty good, compared to the rest of the year. **Side note: However, body odor had returned, so the brides carried a bouquet of fresh flowers to mask the scent of the odor.** Some believe the bouquet was the keep the evil demons away from the bride and her marriage. Who knows. It's fascinating how we still continue the old English traditions to this day.

Now that I'm completely off topic, I think I will voice my opinion more frequently when I have something to say at work.

First of all, HR says I have until July 1st to take my week's worth of vacation. This means I have to plain seven consecutive days for my break and not seven sporadic ones. However, my regional says I have until May 31st because I have to work the whole month of June. Please tell me who is right in this situation!

Next, instead of listening to, "Erin, please make 300 e-mails and calls (literally) by the end of the day."..."Erin, why aren't you greeting the customer at the kiosk?"..."Erin, I really need you to sit down and make those calls. Please don't ring up bridal customers." I'm going to ask firmly, but politely what would they like me to do more. Getting the current sales we are making throughout the store completed or calling and e-mailing potential sales that might not even happen?

Finally, I'm going to ask my manager if I can work 9-6 tomorrow so I'm able to see Jim before my trip. It's really not fair for him when I have the late night shifts every single day. Plus, my manager will already be working 1-10 with me Tuesday night so does it really make a difference if I change it? Two people on in the AM and one person on in the PM. Holding down the crowd on a random Tuesday night won't be too much of a struggle.

I feel like screaming, "Go go Gadget arms and legs!" Wish me luck.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2008-04-13T09:20:00.007-04:00

Happy Birthday Mom! Each day I am so inspired by your love, kindness, knowledge, wisdom and words of affirmation.

A Turning Point In Life

2008-04-12T09:42:00.004-04:00

This is so surreal. Too bad I was working when it was broadcast. Maybe there's actually hope for this vain world we live in where everything is about "me, myself and I." Granted, I'm no saint to this statement but maybe this performance made some people out there have a heart filled reality check. Who knows. You can always hope.

I love black choirs. Is that bad to say? I truly love them. They give their whole mind, body, and soul when they sing. It's truly incredible. I wanted one for my wedding. Maybe I'll get one for my funeral. Ok, that sounded really morbid! Anyway, I could listen to a black choir all day like if I had the choice and time.

Prodigy

2008-04-08T21:53:00.003-04:00

You know when someone on AI performs over the top when you receive goosebumps during their performance. This seventeen year old is going to sail through the competition and be the next American Idol this year. His voice is like sound of Angels.

Facebook

2008-04-07T23:17:00.003-04:00

This afternoon I made an account on FB for my mom. She's a pretty hip person. I think she needs to get in touch with her virtual connections that don't involve grading papers, e-mailing the principle, and the sporadic online shopping during the day at The Loft, (come on, you know you do it at work too), constantly throughout the day.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the acronym "FB" it's short for Facebook- a "social networking system" according to Wiki. Her birthday is on Sunday and what better way to stay young is to get hooked in the ever changing computer world. Your private life is now made public thanks to FB just by advertising your pictures, events, groups and status. For example:

Jean is attending her birthday party event.
Jean just joined the Liberty Middle School Rangers Group.
Jean is...enjoying life to the fullest!

We know it's invasive, but we all love it to some degree. What will be next?

Weird

2008-04-06T22:01:00.001-04:00

Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.

When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.

So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.

Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes.

AI Season 7

2008-04-05T22:22:00.003-04:00

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a die-hard American Idol fan. I have been a true believer since the very beginning when Kelly Clarkson had her first audition in Dallas, Texas seven years ago. So far this season has been no different. I love the enthusiasm from the performances and see how the singers are truly devoted to this competition. I think that what makes the hour worth my while is seeing people live their dream they have either struggled for their entire lives, or show off the talent God has given them. How awesome is that?

Each week on results night I'm starting to get a little emotional along with the singers just to think how one of them will to be eliminated. You truly get attached to each one of them every week as you watch them sing a country folk tune from Dolly Parton or a brilliant master minded song by John Lennon. You get to depict the different styles and personalities each singer has, which is by far extraordinary.

To sum up this season in a nut shell, here's my all time favorite performances thus far. I guess I'll always be a sucker for the rockers.

April Fools...NOT!

2008-04-01T23:15:00.003-04:00

My eyes fully opened to the thought that it was 8.55am and I had to be at work at 9.00am this morning. I quickly hopped out of bed, jumped in the shower, dabbed on some make-up, scrunched my hair, and put on the first thing I saw in my closet and I was out the door by 9.20am. For a girl that is truly remarkable. Jim helped by making coffee for the go, my true incentive in the AM.

On all the days that I could have been late, which I never am, it's the day that our director from New York was visiting. Fortunately, she was late too. She's a nice gal I'm sure. She knows the business backwards and forwards and to listen to her speak is very empowering and inspirational. She's a tough cookie when it comes to making goals, and believe me we're not making them (to her standards) which was made quite clear. She did however like my eyes. That's the first thing she told me when we were introduced. At least it started off on a positive note. Don't worry, it ended on one too.

Since working at my job, I have come to enjoy numbers more freely. However, sitting in the meeting room for over two hours going over every acronym you could possibly think of and matching it to a percentage to compare it with, your head starts to hurt. This asset goes to this one, and blah, blah, blah. I understand what she was telling us, I was just getting a little hungry.

That meeting ended, and another with just my manager began. That was less intimidating, but lasted another two hours.

I wanted to pinch myself a few times during the day just to make sure someone wasn't fooling me at all. I mean, this could have been the most incredible April Fool's joke ever, (in a very distorted view) to create. Having your regional's boss come into town and tell you you're not meeting goal when you think you were doing a swell job this whole time. Pure genius. But no. No joke.

It just started raining. I absolutely LOVE it when it rains at night when I'm going to bed. I enjoy nodding off to the sound of the drops hitting the rooftop. It reminds me of the storms we habitually get in the Sunshine State.

Movie Night

2008-03-28T10:34:00.000-04:00

Yay for The Breakfast Club!

Easter

2008-03-26T15:33:00.004-04:00

Easter Sunday came and went very smoothly. The best thing about it was that I was able to spend the day with my nephew. Even though he's teething at the moment, he's still adorable. Jim and his mom went to the Easter service at our church, and from the looks of it I think she enjoyed it to some degree. I cooked and was not able to recollect the importance of the day. So today I am.

⁵ The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

It's so uplifting to read this. To think about all the wrong I do on a daily basis and to know I'll be free is so empowering.

I'm looking outside our kitchen window and it is a gorgeous day. Actually gorgeous can be an understatement. It's more like magnificent, strikingly beautiful, absolutely breath taking, Can you tell we have not had this weather in a long time? But we can compromise on gorgeous. I'm sure it has reached 60 degrees by now which I am now considering "beach weather." Having this statement come from a Floridan should mean a lot. I should really start my habitual jogs again. I had all intentions to do it last night when I came home from work, but didn't because the winter has made me L-A-Z-Y. Plus, if you're looking for a lame excuse, you can't actually jog in the snow. So, whoever reads this inspire me somehow! Alissa, I'm ready! Let's start our AM routines on the the boardwalk again.

Today is my day off from work (which doesn't happen very often) so I'm doing the norm: grocery shopping, enjoying the weather, and cleaning my car for my annual inspection. Not terribly exciting. Actually, it's not the least bit exciting. Oh well. life goes on.

Patience

2008-03-22T10:38:00.001-04:00

You know those times where you've been wanting something for a long time and then you find out it happened to someone else? Yea, I had one of those moments yesterday.

Take My Beath Away

2008-03-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

You are so deserving of every good thing that can come your way. And I want you to know, if I could have a wish come true, I'd wish for every day of your life to be blessed with some special gift that warms your heart, some gentle smile that touches your soul, and so many things that simply take your breath away.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away," Anonymous.

Happy 20th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

2008-03-19T10:43:00.005-04:00

Twenty things my parents taught me about marriage:

1.Never go to bed angry.
2. Communicate.
3. Don't argue in front of the children.
4. Continue to date each other.
5. Pray and tithe.
6. Always trust their final decision.
7. Express your love languages towards each other.
8. Don't sweat the small stuff.
9. Listen when the other one has concerns.
10.Never go to bed angry.
11. Support the decision making.
12. Don't take sides.
13. Always make sure God is the center of the relationship.
14. Have fun.
15. Don't ever focus on the negative.
16. Lift each other up.
17. Laugh.
18. Never bring up mistakes from the past.
19. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
20. Never go to bed angry.

I know Alan Jackson would be proud too.

THS: St. Patrick

2008-03-17T11:25:00.006-04:00

10 Things about St. Patrick: And nothing about Guinness.

1. He was the son of a Roman official, Calpurnius, living in Wales.

2. When he was about sixteen he was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for six years before escaping and returning to his family.

3.He dreamed of having seen God by guiding him to escape with a getaway ship to travel to Britain, and France.

4. There he joined a monastery and studied under St. Germain, the bishop of Auxerre. He spent approximately 12 years in training.

5. When loosing hope to be a missionary under King Tara, he prayed to God for inspiration. God placed a shamrock on the ground in front of him and resembled it as the blessed trinity.

6. Patrick was granted a request from the Lord that the Irish should keep the Christian faith for all time and they should be spared the horrors of the Judgment Day.

7. Patrick could judge Irish himself- legend that states Ireland will be drowned under a sea of water seven years before the last judgment originates.

8. St. Patrick is believed to have driven the snakes from Ireland, one of Christianity's most widely known figures.

9. He died on March 17, 461.

10. After his death, St Patrick is still known as the patron saint of Ireland and will be remembered by the infamous him he wrote:

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Contacts

2008-03-16T16:39:00.002-04:00

A lesson I never learn: Don't fall asleep with contacts still in your eyes.

Beware of The Ides of March

2008-03-15T22:10:00.002-04:00

Julius Caesar's bloody assassination on March 15, 44 B.C., forever marked March 15, or the Ides of March, as a day of infamy. It has fascinated scholars and writers ever since.

Julius Cesar was a Roman military, political leader and one of the most influential men in world history. After assuming control of government, he was proclaimed director for life and heavily centralised the bureaucracy of the Republic. A group of senators, led by Caesar's former friend Marcus Brutus assassinated him hoping to restore the normal running of the Republic. The result was another Roman civil war, which ultimately led to the establishment of a permanent autocracy by Caesar's adopted heir.

Caesar was delayed going to the Senate meeting that day because his wife tried to convince him not to go. The conspirators feared the plot had been found out. Brutus persisted, however, waiting for Caesar at the Senate, and allegedly still chose to remain even when a messenger brought him news that would otherwise have caused him to leave. Just as Tillius Cimber handed Cesar a petition asking him to hand power back to the Senate, he pulled down his tunic while Casca thrusted his dagger through Cesar's neck.

The famous last words, "You too Brutus?" will haunt The Roman Empire forever.

FCAT Frenzy

2008-03-13T23:35:00.002-04:00

Been there done that. According to this three page editorial, the system has changed a little with the grade levels.

Good luck to all!

The Break Room

2008-03-12T22:43:00.005-04:00

During the day I count the minutes at work until I'm able to take my hour break. Some days it flies by other days it drags on. Today was in between. This evening I headed up to the break room, to eat my dinner like I always do. There's always a few employees in there and the plasma television is great. Tonight, there was a lady eating her dinner that works in the moderates department.

**Side note: to give you an update on my manager's father, he passed early Monday AM. He's been suffering ever since the passing of her mother back in January.**

The lady asked me how my manager's dad was doing. Just putting a whole baby carrot in my mouth I could only give her a thumbs down. She was astonished she didn't know. I started talking about it and one thing led to another and we somehow got onto the subject about were her dad and how he passed of pancreatic cancer seven years ago. She told me this great story of how he wanted to die at the summer house on the Cape. You could tell she really loved, admired and to this day won't ever forget him.

We actually shared a few tears together. It was really nice meeting more co-workers. Apparently they know me, however I really don't know them and the hour I spend with her I will never forget. Oh the memories of the break room.

But If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
It's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Nano

2008-03-11T23:57:00.002-04:00

I think my Nano knows me so much it's scary. I always tend to have it on shuffle to just keep the spontaneity alive. Throughout today I have been really stressed. Sweating on the little things in life and not taking things into strive. However, tonight as I was driving to Lynn it played a song I haven't heard in ages. It made me "smile" because it finally made me realize life is too short to be frustrated. Thank you Hanson.

So smile, give me all your heart and we'll never be apart.
I'll never leave you alone
If you'll just smile, tell me that you care
And I'll always be there.
I'll never leave you hurt if you just smile