Thoughts

I had another "what if" moment tonight. Actually the same one. Can the person that keeps telling me (actually jokingly because it's in good humor in a very distorted perception) stop reading my mind? Thank you. You know who you are.

Loss

We all dread those phone calls when the person on the other end says, "listen, I have to talk to you about a few things." We immediately know something is terribly wrong. We know she's in heaven now.

Pass me not, o gentle Savior
Hear my humble cry.
While on others thou art calling
Do not pass me by.
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry
While on others thou art calling do not pass me by.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

So Hot

I think I have a thing for rockers (and winners). Shh. Don't tell anyone.

Should've Would've Could've

Do you ever have those moments when you think about something or someone and wonder how your life would be different if you chose different paths along the way? I think we've all had those moments whether they are short lived or will haunt us for the rest of our living lives. Here's an analogy:

Person A likes Person B
Person B starts to notice Person C.
Person A and C are completely oblivious to Person B's feelings.

OR

Person A gets offered a job at Destination B
Destination C offers more than Destination B.
Person A picks Destination C but always wonders how life would've turned out at Destination B.

Is this wrong? I mean, don't you think life is too short to just "what if" all the time?

I had a "what if" moment this past weekend. It was extremely off the charts when a friend brought up the whole ideal to me this morning without me even mentioning it to them. I'm not going to go into full detail about it either, "don't write anything you want the whole world to see" is what my grandmother always told me growing up and I still ably by that rule to this day especially when it comes to the Internet. Yes, sometimes I will slip up and just vent but most of the time I do keep a lot of things to myself. Maybe I'll tell a close friend but that's slim pickings too.

The question now is do I take my own advice and act on my thoughts or just let it rest? Someone once said,

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

Good call.

How Great Thou Art

A lot of us tend to forget this part of the song. Read, think and comprehend it people. It's pretty rad.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

P.A. Means...

Just plain hard core fun with lots and lots of good, down to earth people.

Team David!

It's double D Day on American Idol tonight. Which David will win? I like them both. Neither have ever been in the bottom three which is extremely impressive. Cook, 25, is more versatile in the song choices he sings as shown from last night, however Archie, 17 works the crowd. I think he'll win. I didn't vote this year because I could not decide between the two. I think they are both awesome!

Line Dancing

Ever since those summertime days in Vermont back between the ages of 6-11 when my mom would take me to go line dancing with her I have been truly addicted. Tonight Jim and I are meeting Amber and her mom at Jesse Blacks for some dancin! I can hardly wait!

This one was my all time favorite to dance to, and the first one I was introduced to by my uncle.

Yeah, heel, toe, docie doe come on baby let's go boot scootin
Cadilac black jack, baby meet me outback we're gonna boogie
Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin' boogie

It's a Negative

The neurologist called me today with my MRI results. After analyzing the X-rays they fortunately found nothing harmful . This is a true lift off my shoulders. However, he does want me to come in for a follow up appointment which will take place in July. He believes that if there was nothing that the x-rays showed, then there could possibly be a pinched nerve due to my scoliosis which evedentally causes migraines. This could lead to neck soreness or cramping.

I just want to thank everyone who has been giving me such great support this past week. Your words of affirmation, phone calls and hugs truly mean a lot. Inside I have been a complete basket case with this whole scenario by going off on catastrophic thoughts, but I can pretty much hide any emotion I have from the public. I know I really should start expressing my feelings, thoughts and opinions more often but I feel like it would be just a waist of time if no one would agree with them. Even the biggest thing like this I have showed no tears to anyone...except Jim. He's just a given. So, now you know: if I cry in front of you, you know you mean a lot to me.

Our vacation down in Florida has been going very smoothly. Jim and I went to Cocoa today. Visited Ron Jon's, I got burnt to a crisp and got up close and personal to those estranged wild fires that have been making national news. Florida is burning up good times. I95 was closed, however being a born Floridian I knew all the back roads that took us home from the beach. I went to a pilates class with Amber, my mom and sister tonight and Jim and I are meeting up with her tomorrow at Jessie's bar for some good ole line dancing! Yee-haw. Disney is in the works for Thursday. Oh boy.

On the contrary, my family is in the midst of forming a family reunion, (which my aunt and I have been trying to push for the past SIX years). A suggestion of taking a cruise over Turkey Day since it'll be my cousin's birthday was going around. I guess I should start putting my event planning skills to the test!

You're a Heatbreaker

He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns.
Sweet-talkin' forked tongue haf a temptin' charm.
Before I turned around, that boy was gone.
All I can say is: "Bartender, pour me somethin' strong."


Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass.
I hope he's happy with her.
Here's to the boy, who wrecked my world,
That angel who did me in.
I think the devil drives a Coupe de Ville.
I watched 'em drive away over the hill,
Not against his will, an' I've got time to kill,
Down in Brokenheartsville.

Happy Mother's Day!

Have you called your mom yet? If not, grab your phone and start dialing! Even if she does not deserve the Mother of the Year Award every mother needs to know how much they are appreciated at least once a year. I mean, think about it, you would not be here if it wasn't for her.

But the child's mother said, "As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you," 2 Kings 4.30

I know, the picture is old, but it is always a goodie.

My First MRI

I will confess that I was a MRI virgin up until this morning. I would describe it as more uncomfortable than painful. Besides the injection in my arm, which was a little painful, everything else in the process was just down right uncomfortable.

Before any of the action started I was prescribed Valium in order to relax during the procedure. The assistant explained the step by step process to me as she handed me my hospital gown and robe. They would be taking eight pictures, six with the injection from my arm, two without.

I was told to lay on the MRI bed as the male nurse and assistant handed me a pillow for my head and my feet. They padded my sides with cushion and made sure my ear plugs were snug inside me.

The helmet came on and they slid me into the screening section. The noises were excruciating which made me really uncomfortable because I don't like loud noises to begin with. I don't even like the television volume to exceed the limit of five.

The whole procedure took about forty-five minutes to complete. The male nurse gave me my copy of the X-Rays to give to my neurologist during my follow up session with him. I should hear about the results by Tuesday at the latest.

So that was a snitch. I was scared. I still am. I'm more scared now to hear what the results are. Even if my doctor does find something to be a little disturbing and tells me to do another MRI I think I'll be more calm about it, (hopefully this won't happen). After all, you always remember your first.

Enhancing My Vacabulary

I think those People Magazine crossword puzzles I habitually do every Friday have enhanced my vocabulary to the extent that I know every answer on Merv Griffin's Crossword Game Show. Wow. What a way to spend my lunch breaks.

Revolutionary Randomness

How far away is your 10 yr reunion? 4 years

Do you speed up when you go thru an intersection? If it's a yellow light, yes

How far away is work? 15 minutes away.

How often are you late for work? We have a five minute grace period. I'm within that time frame.

Everyone's got one...

Who's the person you can't stand at work? His name will remain anonymous.

Do you give strangers fake smiles? If I need to. I'm pretty nice to most people.

Do you face your money all the same direction? Yes.

Do you put your money in order from largest amount to smallest? It keeps me more organized.

Do you eat borritos with a knife and fork? I don't eat burritos.

What color is your cell phone? Silver and pink.

Ever pretend to be annoyed when your phone rings but secretly love it? Haha Yes!

Did you know the sweetener in diet soda turns into formaldahyde (emblaming fluid) When it's at body temperature? No, I didn't know that.

Did you just swear off diet soda? I don't drink soda.

Have you ever named a pet the name you wanted for your first child? I would.

Do you really need to take your dog everywhere? NO!

What kind of computer are you on? Samsung.

What is your favorite kind of apple? Granny Smith.

What is the last thing you had to drink? Hot chocolate.

Is your hair down or up? Up.

How many windows/tabs are open on your computer? A couple.

Have you spoken to anyone on the phone today? Yes.

What would you say is your worst habit? Probably being late to anything.

Do you own any expensive jewelry? Yes.

Have you ever roasted marshmallows on a fire? Of course.

What is the closest thing to you that is pink? My phone.

Who was the last person to text you? Amanda.

Have you ever been out of the country? Yes.

Is a glass half empty, or half full? Always half full

Do you wear shorts more often, or skirts? I guess I wear more skirts since I wear them to work.

What color is the shirt you're wearing? Navy blue.

Do you wear glasses/contacts? Both. But not at the same time.

What brand are the shoes that you're wearing? Tommy.

What is the last phrase you said out loud? "Do you want to play a card game?"

Do you prefer Mexican food, or Chinese food? Chinese.

Have you ever been in a wedding? Yes.

How about to a funeral? Yes.

Does your shower have doors, or curtains? Doors.

Where was your default picture taken? In my parent's kitchen on my sister's 16th birthday.

Have you ever gone deep sea fishing? Does snorkeling in the gulf count?

Do you own slippers? Yes.

Would you ever use a Ouija Board? Never.

Have you ever ran with scissors? Probably.

Have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Haha yea.

Are you ticklish? Not too much, but yes.

Are your toenails painted? No.

When Grandma Goes To Court

My mom sent me this...

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

I'm Scared

I've been trying to laugh this subject off like it's no big deal but the people around me aren't. Yes, I have been dealing with sufficient migraines for the past couple of months that have involved excruciating pain. The type of pain like, "if I feel a migraine coming forget the plans for that night, dear because I won't be able to move pain". I went to see a neurologist this past Wednesday to see what he could ponder up. He listed the likeliness of having migraines:

• I'm a girl.
• Family history
• Have anxiety

Check, check, and check. After he took fifteen minutes of pointing out the obvious he asked me if they only happen "during your mensies." After telling him that I have never heard anyone describe TOM like that, I explained that I wish it was just once a month, but instead they happen mostly three times of month and usually start at the left temple and moves over to the right.

Then came the neurology tests: following the finger with only my eyes and without moving your head, the sobriety test which details a focus of touching my nose to his finger not by speed but by accuracy and walking in a straight line not only forwards, but backwards, on my tippy toes, and my heels.

Passed, passed, and passed. This wore me out. He then took out a gadget that tested my reflexes: the elbows, knees and the souls of my feet. I had to tell him if the gadget was hot or cold on both hands, and if it was sharp or dull on the bottom of my feet. Then he did the notorious hit to the knee.

This is where we found a problem. My reflexes on my right side are completely normal, however my reflexes on my left side are numb, or "don't match the same reaction as your right side." Coincidentally, this is how my migraines start; Left to right. Now that we have found the problem we need to fix it. He scheduled me for a MRI for this upcoming Friday.

I agreed even though I was feeling really uneasy by this point. He explained to me he wasn't trying to scare me but he also wasn't one of those doctors that just, "schedules this stuff. There's a problem on your left side. It could be leading up to hemorrhaging. I need to find out for sure."

Hemorrhaging. Wow. That's scary stuff. I mean, not to sound pessimistic but couldn't that lead to a stroke? Is a twenty-four year old capable of having a stroke? I always like to see the water half full so I'm not even going to consider thinking about that unless I absolutely have to. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see what the MRI finds. It could end up being absolutely nothing besides my paranoia. Besides, I have a full schedule of activities to keep my mind busy during the week. (No pun intended). Work, AM walks with Alissa, work, American Idol, work, LOST get together, and more work. I'll keep you updated.

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3.5-6

Momzillas!

People usually think that the brides are the most reckless, selfish and temperamental girls during the planning process than anyone else. Wrong. I have concurred that the moms are far worse. On that note, I must say my mom was the best person to work with when I was planning my own wedding.

I couldn't imagine a bride that has to deal with an insane mother. I mean, get a life lady, you already had your day when dirt was new. This is your daughter's. I had this encounter tonight while I was working.

I only went in for four hours since I called out sick. I wasn't too worried about it because I have done overtime during this past week (but that's a totally different story for a different day). Anyway, as I was budgeting the numbers that we made yesterday for the first day of our Friends and Family event, I was approached by a MOB (mother of the bride) and an aunt. They explained to me that they had just driven from Burlington to purchase two goblets. Fantastic so far. Our computer showed that we had two, however we technically only had one for buying because the other one was the floor model. I explained to them under no circumstances I could sell the floor model. That's when all holy hell broke loose. The MOB said the shower was tomorrow and she had to get two goblets for a present. OK, this is when you want to scream, "idiot! your the bride's mom and your procrastinating until the last minute? How dare you!" But I didn't. They asked to speak to a manager, she said the same thing. We can't sell the model. They took our names and blah blah blah.

It was quiet in the store after they left and I was able to roughly listen to the new music the store is trying out. One song happened to be Hanson. I thought that was funny.

Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me

If you want to call that excitement go right ahead. It just boggles my mind how moms can be so neurotic about little things during their daughter's engagement. Making the day all about them. How selfish can one person get? I truly believe this is how the bride gets so stressed out. I keep thinking to myself how lucky I was to have a mom that was completely devoted to the wedding planning, however let me do the actions. She went with me as well as my sister and cousin (the maid of honor) to the taste testings, the appointments with the vendors, the reception sites, the wedding registry, and the dress shopping, (and I must point out I chose the 3rd dress I tried on). It was just hard core FUN! I had the final say with everything...if it was in the budget.

On another note, whatever music Aaron's playing is really cool. Good play list. Keep it real.

Being sick sucks but it's funny how Jim went around our room spraying Oust. Good times. Hopefully it won't last long because I'm really excited about our trip to Florida next weekend and I would appreciate it if my immune system could enjoy the vacation as well.