I'm Scared

I've been trying to laugh this subject off like it's no big deal but the people around me aren't. Yes, I have been dealing with sufficient migraines for the past couple of months that have involved excruciating pain. The type of pain like, "if I feel a migraine coming forget the plans for that night, dear because I won't be able to move pain". I went to see a neurologist this past Wednesday to see what he could ponder up. He listed the likeliness of having migraines:

• I'm a girl.
• Family history
• Have anxiety

Check, check, and check. After he took fifteen minutes of pointing out the obvious he asked me if they only happen "during your mensies." After telling him that I have never heard anyone describe TOM like that, I explained that I wish it was just once a month, but instead they happen mostly three times of month and usually start at the left temple and moves over to the right.

Then came the neurology tests: following the finger with only my eyes and without moving your head, the sobriety test which details a focus of touching my nose to his finger not by speed but by accuracy and walking in a straight line not only forwards, but backwards, on my tippy toes, and my heels.

Passed, passed, and passed. This wore me out. He then took out a gadget that tested my reflexes: the elbows, knees and the souls of my feet. I had to tell him if the gadget was hot or cold on both hands, and if it was sharp or dull on the bottom of my feet. Then he did the notorious hit to the knee.

This is where we found a problem. My reflexes on my right side are completely normal, however my reflexes on my left side are numb, or "don't match the same reaction as your right side." Coincidentally, this is how my migraines start; Left to right. Now that we have found the problem we need to fix it. He scheduled me for a MRI for this upcoming Friday.

I agreed even though I was feeling really uneasy by this point. He explained to me he wasn't trying to scare me but he also wasn't one of those doctors that just, "schedules this stuff. There's a problem on your left side. It could be leading up to hemorrhaging. I need to find out for sure."

Hemorrhaging. Wow. That's scary stuff. I mean, not to sound pessimistic but couldn't that lead to a stroke? Is a twenty-four year old capable of having a stroke? I always like to see the water half full so I'm not even going to consider thinking about that unless I absolutely have to. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see what the MRI finds. It could end up being absolutely nothing besides my paranoia. Besides, I have a full schedule of activities to keep my mind busy during the week. (No pun intended). Work, AM walks with Alissa, work, American Idol, work, LOST get together, and more work. I'll keep you updated.

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3.5-6